We all have goals. Career advancement. A better house. Early retirement. But, surprisingly, a great deal of couples forget an important set of goals:goals. Often, assumptions are made that the marriage will take care of itself and they can simply set it on cruise control. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. As in your career, your health or anything else you put your mind to, you need to set goals for your marriage in order to produce positive results.
Marriage goals define what you want the marriage to look like so that you will quickly know if you start to veer off course, says Doares. They should be set around several areas, including finances, sex and intimacy, friends and family, children and parenting, running of the household, decision making, individual time, couple time, lifestyle, and other pertinent parameters for the marriage.
For example, Dr, Kedarian suggests: if a partner’s love language is acts of service, ask them which types of duties/chores you can help with or take off their plate. Then, make a plan to implement those. He also suggests setting financial goals and coming to an understanding of what you hope to gain/feel when that goal is achieved?’
Goals, she adds, are like the bumpers that little kids have in the bowling alley to keep the ball from going into the gutter. “They’re what’s going to keep you on course,” she says. “You know where you’re headed and you’re not leaving it to chance, which is what most people do when they get married.”So how do you figure out what your personal marriage goals are? First, per Doares, you need to figure out what your deal breakers are.
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