[Two Pronged] After an affair

Rappler's Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr Margarita Holmes.

I just want to give up trying. Give up on the marriage all together! It is just so insulting because she was the one who told me. She sent me photos and numerous text exchanges of how he desired her and wanted her! He could not stop!!! He watched porn and did all the porn things! He says I am a better lover yet he gets soft on me!So after 25 years your husband , has turned into a sex addicted philanderer who to your disgust no longer finds you attractive enough to maintain an erection.

With the admitted benefit of hindsight, perhaps asking Luis to perform sexual calisthenics with you so soon after his infidelity became known may have given him the message that he was in some sort of sexual competition. Of course, by saying that you are a better lover Luis increased the pressure on himself and even innocent men might have difficulty performing under such a spotlight.

Think of her “perfect timing,” telling you of their affair right after your silver wedding anniversary. By telling you she is dropping him for another man, she is also telling you that all you have are her leftovers.

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