My wife wanted four kids, I desired two, God gave us one —Ogiugo

Edosa Ogiugo is the first president of the Guild of Professional Fine Artists of Nigeria. He was in office between 2008 and 2012. He shares with TOBI AWORINDE his experience of becoming a father and how fatherhood evolved for him after two decadesSometimes, we situate it when we begin to have children. But I think it is much earlier than that. When you gain the consciousness of what your responsibilities should be towards your wife and you start to dream of the kind of woman.

But I ran out of the labour room for a moment because I couldn’t withstand the sight of blood, even though I was the one praying and encouraging her all along. I ran out for about one and a half or two minutes and came back. And Precious was out there. It was a great feeling. There were no phones then, so I left a message at the church then and went to the parents in Ojo. I just took a bus from Ojuelegba about 7am.

You would have sections for the women and sections for men. And the question I used to ask my father then was, ‘These same women cook your food and you sleep with them, so why do you discriminate against them?’ He never was able to answer those questions appropriately. So, having a girl child, the reason why we tried some more was for her to have company. But somehow, she is in the midst of friends. So, I think God has compensated her. As for stigmatisation, I have never given attention to it.

As the husband of a working-class woman, what kinds of compromises have you and your wife had to make on the home front? That is plenty. It can be challenging, especially that you face separation for a couple of months, spread across time. That was challenging but I think we were able to bridge that by having to spend time together, sometimes, travelling with her on some trips. Since I don’t really go out, I work from where I live, so it was a bit easy. I had to learn how to cook by myself or just revive the old methods I learnt from my mum, because she had just three boys for my father.

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