How to have a better relationship - The Nation Newspaper

Can you spot a good relationship? Of course, nobody knows what really goes on between any couple, but decades of scientific research into love, sex and relationships have taught us that some behaviour can predict when a couple is on solid ground or headed for troubled waters. Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness and most of all — effort.

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and put romance back into your relationship. You and your partner can take the Love Style quiz from Dr. Hatkoff and find out how each of you defines love. If you learn your partner tends toward jealousy, make sure you notice when someone is flirting with him or her. If your partner is practical in love, notice the many small ways he or she shows love by taking care of everyday needs.

The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love.

American adults had sex about nine fewer times per year in the early 2010s compared to the late 1990s.The average adult has sex 54 times a year.About 5 percent of people have sex at least three times a week.People in their 40s have sex about 60 times a year.After the age of 25, sexual frequency declines 3.2 percent annually.

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