Haunted by the law, abandoned by families: Underground lives of Nigerian homosexual men, lesbians, others - Punch Newspapers

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Alade, however, added that no single gene had a large effect on sexuality as it was usually a communication of genes and/or hormones.

She said, “My mother found out because she saw me and my lover then on my phone. She threatened fire and brimstone and took me for deliverance and all that. I left the house for her. This marriage I am in, I am in it so she would accept that I have changed, but I know I haven’t. I pray my husband finds out who I really am. I am not scared. I think he even knows. The only people I am afraid of are my lovely boys. I don’t know if they would forgive me. But I have to live and not just exist.

“I absconded from the house and have been living as a woman ever since. I have been on dates with men who don’t even know I was a man. I haven’t completed my gender reassignment surgery. When I do, I will be happy.”A gay man identified only as Bide would have been a medical student at a federal university in the South-South if his mother had not found out that he preferred men to women.

“He eventually saw us one night as we kissed ourselves in the corridor. He didn’t shout. He quietly called our parents and had a private meeting with them as we packed our belongings and left, It happened 10 years ago,” he added. Bide said, “I am a gay. I see my mates doing a lot of things, but here I am in my mother’s house, eating her food and wasting away.”

She added that she hadn’t returned home since then as her mother told her not to step foot in her house after the scandal resulted in her father’s death.Some pro-LGBTQ activists expressed displeasure regarding abandonment and disownment of some of their members by family, friends and loved ones based on their sexual orientation.

“It was almost as if they were waiting for the act to be signed so they’d use that as ground to perform all manner of atrocities and abuse. The rate of abuse and violence towards community members has increased since the law took off in 2014,” he added. “Anybody in Nigeria is empowered by the system to kill you, literally take your life and you won’t get justice,” he said.

“As a practice and behaviour, it had existed among Africans in the past. Hence, the Yoruba and Hausa words for it: Adofuro and Yan daudu. In Igbo language, it is also known asHe added, “In the pre-colonial times, homosexualiy had existed but was not given much preference, maybe because it was anti-African culture and therefore was practised secretly or because people simply ignored it and took it as a normal behaviour that further expressed the dynamics of human nature.

 

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