Haba, Kyari! - Punch Newspapers

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If you went to nursery or primary school in Nigeria, you’re unlikely to miss the deafening ‘A-for-apple’ cognitive verbal rendition schoolchildren crammed and screamed. ‘A-for-apple!’, ‘B-for-ball!’, ‘C-for-cake!’, ‘D-for-dog!’, ‘E-for-egg!’, ‘F-for-fish!’ ‘G-for-goat!’, ‘H-for-hen!’, ‘I-for-ink!’, ‘J-for-jug!’. In my kindergarten days, ‘K’ was for kettle, but now, I guess ‘K’ must be for Kyari.

Clearly, the ‘s’ in Abbas is the retributive scorpion that serves comeuppance when it’s cold. For Hushpuppi de Scorpion, the sting is in the tail. Buruji resurrects against Kyari. Till he succumbed to COVID-19 complications and breathed his last in August 2020 at the First Cardiology Consultants Hospital, Lagos, Kashamu lived in perpetual fear of extradition to the US, having been indicted for drug offences in the United States and jailed for five years in the UK.

Six years down the line, however, the flute is broken, the drum is torn, birds no longer chirp like birds and rats no longer squeak like rats. More than six years into his lame-duck Presidency, hypocrisy has proved to be the glaucoma blinding the vision of the Buhari regime to its electoral promise of ending medical tourism, insecurity, unemployment and poverty, among others.

 

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