I told her in a non-judgmental way that her affairs had been very hurtful. We had a nice lunch and parted on good terms, but she was unapologetic.
I still obsess over my first love, even though we broke up 21 years ago. We grew up in a poor mill town, where I was a frustrated, mediocre athlete. She was a cheerleader. We shared fundamentalist religious beliefs that, along with poor access to contraception, led to our decision to “save ourselves for marriage” during our five-plus years of regular dating. Unlike most of our peers, we were able to attend college.
I put up a good front as I continued a rigorous graduate program, but I was physically sick and extremely depressed and disillusioned to the point of having suicidal thoughts. Abby, after all this time, I’m still confused. I don’t know what I’m seeking. Maybe I want revenge. Am I crazy to hold on for so long, or do others carry their pain for a lifetime?Yes, some people do carry their pain for a lifetime, unless they deal with it. You appear to have the entire roster of your ex-girlfriend’s romantic involvements. I have a strong hunch that what you wanted when you took her to lunch was a sincere apology for hurting you all those years ago.
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