New York City public schools have seen an uptick in disruptive classroom behavior. One Brooklyn mother shares her fight to advocate for her young son, who routinely acts out and hides, and has destroyed his classroom more than once.
Whenever Kim gets a call from her son Alexander’s school, she presses “record” on her phone so she’ll have evidence, just in case. These calls come frequently. For example, recently, Alex, who is a handsome third-grader with longish wavy brown hair and sleepy eyes, climbed on top of his classroom’s closet, which juts out from the wall. The school’s parent coordinator FaceTimed Kim to see if she could talk him down. Kim shared the audio with me.
According to official school documents, Alex’s “problem behavior” is “noncompliance that leads to aggressive behavior toward peers and staff.” In practice, this means that he refuses to follow repeated instructions. He runs away from the classroom. He hides under desks, pulls his hood over his head, and puts his hands over his ears. He climbs. He throws things and rips up papers and books.
“Once get the services they need, those behaviors subside,” says Mary Nevin, a longtime special educator. She used to run a “last chance” school called Success, in Rutland, Vermont, for kids whose next stop was prison or an institution. Now she works as a private consultant helping families, including Alex’s, navigate the labyrinthine bureaucracy of the New York City special-education system.
Kim’s neighbor in her building Jen, who asked to use a pseudonym, is among the only moms willing to host Alex for a playdate. She tells me: “Even as a baby, Alex would randomly fall or run into walls and just not notice. It was cute at the time, but it meant that he did need more supervision than my kids did.” That still holds true. The other day, Alex climbed up the net of an outdoor soccer goal. Her two sons followed. “My kids went down when I asked them to.
The school called Kim in for a meeting and told her they could no longer handle Alex. They recommended a transfer to a particular specialized school. “I looked it up and it seemed like all kids on the spectrum were nonverbal. And being that he was very verbal, and on grade level, and has a high IQ, that’s not the right place for him.”
For example, one of the days that Alex, Kim, and I are due to meet, Kim goes to pick up Alex from his after-school program, but he’s hiding somewhere in the building. He had been happily reading when the art teacher asked him to participate. “I had a little freak-out,” he tells me while slurping hot chocolate through a straw at the counter of a small café in Brooklyn, after Kim found him. “They took my book out of my hand and yelled at me.
A similar incident occurred the following summer in another program with more brand-new adults. “The very first day I get a call: He hid under a table, the teacher pulled him out, he had finger bruises on his arms,” recalls Kim. Physical restraint is only supposed to be used “to prevent imminent danger of serious physical harm to the student or others,” according to Erica Conley Komoroske, a spokesperson at the New York State Department of Education.
But third grade has been a different experience: “This year it went to shit,” says Kim. In the fall, she tried to be proactive, reminding Alex’s teacher and para about his plan and what had worked in the past. But the phone calls home started almost immediately.All the incidents seem to begin with he asked for a break and they said no,” says Kim. Things often spiral quickly from there. Alex will climb into a closet or under a desk, and then a teacher or para will pull him out.
When he sees my tape recorder, Alex speaks up. “I want to tell you something. In civics, we’re supposed to write about something we want to change. I’m writing about how ADHD kids should get more support … School is hard. They don’t give me the support I need.” Robin isn’t sure how to feel about it. She’s sympathetic, to a point. “I don’t want to raise a princess. In life there are going to be difficult situations. But I worry. He has tried to strangle a boy. That little boy was terrified. Imagine having your kid terrified at school. That’s a place they need to feel safe.”
Many lack parents like Kim, who has white privilege, is a U.S. citizen, speaks English, and is willing and able to put everything else in her life aside to go to bat for her son. It’s a lot of pressure. “It’s hard,” Kim tells me as she starts to cry. “Really hard. I do my best to be the best mother and human I can be, but my humanness is secondary. If my kid is in crisis, it doesn’t matter.”
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Low social status increases risk of health problems from alcohol problemsMen and women with lower income or education levels are more likely to develop medical conditions related to alcohol abuse compared to similar individuals with a higher socioeconomic status, according to a new study.
Read more »
NYC population 2024: Roughly, how many people live in NYC?New York City has a 2024 population of 7,931,147, according to data from World Population Review.
Read more »
VIDEO: NYC Twin Teenage Girls Stabbed in ‘Senseless’ Attack at Bodega, One DiesSource of breaking news and analysis, insightful commentary and original reporting, curated and written specifically for the new generation of independent and conservative thinkers.
Read more »
A look inside a Sunset Park store, where one of NYC’s best gamers trainsA look inside a Sunset Park store, where one of NYC’s best gamers trains
Read more »
NYC drivers one step closer to paying $15 congestion tax after board approvalNYC drivers are closer to paying a $15 congestion tax every day they enter the city below 61st street.
Read more »
One Tech Tip: How to spot AI-generated deepfake imagesAI fakery is quickly becoming one of the biggest problems confronting us online.
Read more »