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He would yell at me if I even mentioned someone else to make him think about this matter, as if I am being wicked. He also refuses to talk about planning for old age, like what to do if one of us needs elderly care. I like to plan ahead but he is not cooperating. Getting this paperwork done can take months if it's not too complicated, but it can easily take several years. It's stressful, complicated, and can cost a lot of money. Having had to do this myself, I can't urge this enough: do not burden your loved ones. Write a will.
You also need another document that discusses what you want to do in the event of your becoming ill or incapacitated. That second document should be shared immediately with the person you trust to take care of this for you. Once you have written your own will, approach your husband. Tell him exactly what it cost you and how you did it. Wills are sealed, but you might want to hand him a photocopy. That should help take the mystery and fear out of it.
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