In case of memory loss, this mom wrote a 'pre-dementia' letter to her daughters | CBC Radio

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Rhonda Hoffman watched her mother lose her memories to dementia, and wants to prepare her daughters. | CBCRadio

As she watched dementia slowly take her mother's memories away, Hoffman often thought of her own daughters Rebecca and Rachel.

In the later years of grammas life, we all came to a new understanding of how dementia affects not only those afflicted with it, but everyone around them as well. I'm doing what I can now to stave off the onset of dementia, but I know that very little in life works out the way we plan.So I'm giving this book to you as a gift in case the time comes when my mind fails me.

I was no different than you, so when time runs its course and I'm no longer vital, be patient with me. I pray if I lose my memories that the bad ones go first, like the heartbreaks of realizing that life didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, and dreams that never took flight. The trespasses of those who hurt us, intentionally or not, and betrayals of those we entrusted our hearts to who weren't worthy of that trust. They just aren't worth holding onto because they rob us of time that could be used to enjoy building good memories. Remember this for yourself even if I don't.

It made me feel so good when you asked for my help with something. We never outgrow the need to be needed. Remember that even now with those around you. Part of the deterioration of my communication skills is that I won't understand humour the way I used to, and this will be a great loss for all of us. If this occurs, think back on the years and years of fun we had and remember them for me.You are my world but don't make me yours. Let me be part of your life but don't let my needs consume you. Being a caregiver is the hardest job and I never want you to resent being in that position.

 

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