How not to be a 'West Elm Caleb': Entering and exiting dating app relationships gracefully

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The cutie who you matched with on a dating app sent sweet messages, told fantastic stories and even made you a Spotify playlist. Then you never hear from them again. That is a West Elm Caleb.

They shared what you can do to avoid falling prey o -- or even becoming -- another version of West Elm Caleb.Not having a goal in mind can be a roadblock to success, both Howard and Kelleher said. A concrete goal may mean wanting to date multiple people, wanting something casual, or looking for potential commitment.

Not everyone you swipe right on will make it to that phase, Kelleher said, and it's OK to cut your losses early. These grand romantic gestures can be an indication that the person is prioritizing performance over connection. It could be a red flag for controlling behavior in the future, Howard said. Breadcrumbing usually involves keeping contact and perceived connection without the intention to take it further. If you get the sense a potential partner is breadcrumbing you, try to set a date to meet. If they decline twice, it may be time to move on, Howard said.Dating apps are good for casting a wide net, but almost everyone can benefit from moving offline with a potential partner as soon as they feel safe and comfortable, Kelleher said.

While you aren't responsible for other people's feelings, you are responsible for your actions, she added.

 

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