How grieving has changed during coronavirus: A funeral director's experience - Macleans.ca

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'I realized how important rituals are in response to the chaotic experience of grief. I feel disoriented right now because I’m not able to provide families with those comforts.'

It’s crossed my mind that I’m at an increased risk of contracting the virus because of my job, but I feel prepared because I worked through the AIDs epidemic in the 1980s. That’s when I started using universal precautions, which essentially means treating each bodySince the restrictions of COVID-19, we have responded to 20 deaths, none of them due to COVID-19.

For years, I’ve felt that North American funeral practices are a luxury that people in war-torn or developing countries are not necessarily afforded. I can’t imagine how gut-wrenchingly painful it would be to have my mother or child laid to rest in a mass grave, like we’ve seen in other countries. Even now, we are still finding ways to give all our clients an individualized service.

Since COVID-19 restrictions prevent us from showing up and supporting each other the way I would normally encourage, for now, I advise people to go beyond platitudes, like “if there is anything I can do, let me know” or “sorry for your loss.” Instead, share a meaningful memory or story about the deceased. On our online memorial page, someone recently wrote a tribute saying how the person who had died meant so much to her because they had both had cancer at the same time.

 

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