Why the ‘good vibes only’ culture is making you miserable

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The pressure to be grateful regardless of what is going on for us 'forces us to suppress emotions, which can be destructive for our physical and mental health,” says psychotherapist Whitney Goodman. It also impacts our relationships.

Positive thinking is sold as a path to freedom: even if we can’t control our circumstances, we can control our attitude. The idea is that, if we look for it, we can always find the good and that, by obliterating negative thoughts and the obstacles holding us back, we can achieve the life we want.It’s the “change your perception to change your mind” and “you are what you think” school of thought.

“On social media especially during the pandemic, I saw a real rise in this positive thinking discourse again,” explains Goodman, from her home in Florida. “It was coming from everywhere… government, religion, influencers – we’re seeing it from all sides – everyone wanted us to be positive, so there was no mess or complaining.

Yet, toxic positivity and the platitudes tied to it are hard to let go of, even for the cynics among us. Toxic positivity is also everywhere – often being sprayed around social media by genetically blessed, privileged white women, smugly sharing how you too can be more like them if only you banish the negativity from your life, drink green juices and get manifesting.

This plays out across a variety of forums, Goodman argues: instead of equitable healthcare, we’re encouraged to use our mindset to cure disease; instead of improving accessibility for the disabled, we celebrate “inspiration porn”; instead of gender equality, we perpetuate the “happy housewife” myth, pitted starkly against the “angry feminist”; instead of changing diet culture and the systems that support it we tell everyone they should just love the skin they’re in; instead of finding ways to...

 

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Interesting this is posted the same day Grace Tame is widely criticised for being an “ungrateful” AOTY.

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