The crack of a falling tree, the terrible loss – then the silence

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One year ago today I lost my wife in a freak accident,. I have learned that good communication and friendship can help.

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Exactly one year ago, my wife was injured while we were enjoying a self-guided walking holiday in Sicily. We were walking through a section of national park.

She spent six and a half weeks in three different hospitals and then died. Many things contributed to her death but the most challenging to manage was infection by a multi resistant bacterium (superbug) which caused failure of her respiratory, renal and blood clotting systems. The mortal event was a bleed in the brain related not so much to her original head injury but more to her systems failure.

I was very fortunate to have a large group of friends and a few close work colleagues who communicated with, and supported me and my family while I was in Italy. After that time it was much harder, especially as I re-entered my workplace. The most welcome method is to send a simple handwritten note, saying the same thing. I received quite a few such notes but, to my surprise, only three from work colleagues. One of these from two young doctors I had supervised and two from administrative staff with whom I had worked closely.

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