I was 31 years old and a month into my second marriage in the spring of 1990 when I held my newest niece. She breathed the fast breaths of baby sleep. I smoothed my hand over her thick black hair, smelled the smell of her. Her small weight and the heat of her were perfect comforts.
Up until this moment in the kitchen, I’d been settled with this agreement. Mum said, "It’s our only disappointment about you marrying Bill." From the pressure of her words, the way she leaned in, she’d been holding this thought for a while. "You’re missing out on the biggest joy in life," she added. I knew the reasons why. His mostly absent father. His mother: young and divorced, with three kids. I had once admired that he didn’t argue or justify his choice. I had agreed with it. But now I hated his sureness.
The woman of my logic embraced common sense and agreements. She took pleasure in her life. The freedoms, career, friends, travel. This woman said: "You have enough."
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